At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
