He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
