i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
