i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
MIDGETS
????
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
