We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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