Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Shame is for Republicans.
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