Where is the hickey?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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