quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
