Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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