i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
