thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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