you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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