Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
