U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
