in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
