i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
