Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
