i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
