Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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