It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
