just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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