Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
