i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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