after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
