So drunk its hurt
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
