K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
