Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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