Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize