Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
