exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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