8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i already hear my dad disowning me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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