He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
