This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
