She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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