She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
