you guys were way drunker than both of me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it glows. i had to have it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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