girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
