So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
