there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
