yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
