mondays should just be called national damage control day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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