No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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