so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I look better un-naked...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
