I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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