Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
