She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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