He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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