we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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