Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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