Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
