i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
