can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
