4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
