i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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