why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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