dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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