Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
