I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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