At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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