Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize