I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
