Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
His nipple licking is glorious
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